Lesson 7: Self-Determination — a Walk and a Talk

[Recording check at the trailhead.]

All right — self-determination. It’s the concept of being able to do things on your own, really. It’s an important concept for blind people who want to start trying to do things on their own. It is not independence. Independence is the idea that you don’t need to rely on other people to do things — and that is just not true, for blind people or anyone. At some point in your adult life — and definitely while you’re a kid — you’re going to need to rely on other people for some things. That’s just how doing things works sometimes.

Self-determination is the idea that you can do things. Not that you don’t need other people — but that you can do it. That matters when you’re trying something you’re not familiar with, especially while you’re a kid, because it’s a lot easier to get into something new as a kid than as an adult. So if you’re a kid and you have a little interest in something, look into it and see how you feel about it. Maybe it’s something you’d like to do in the future. Maybe it’s hard for you now but could be perfected over time. Whatever it is — try it, and see if it’s something you want to do.

There are a lot of things you could be doing as a blind person, and my goal is to make sure everybody is able to get the best out of themselves, as much as they can. It really is true what they say about being the best that you can be. Make sure that you are not the reason you’re being held back. Maybe your skill level needs work; maybe it’s the kind of technology you’re using. Those are the kinds of things all blind people deal with in daily life. Everyone is different, every school is different — whatever you do will probably be different from what I’d do, especially if you live across the country from me.

Right now I’m taking a hike out on this trail, and I’m doing it by myself — because, well, I can, and I wanted to talk about this in a quieter space. Maybe you could do that too. But don’t think you have to do it on your own if you can’t yet. Take your parents with you, especially if you don’t know the trail. Maybe you’d like a harder hike than this one — honestly, this isn’t a hike, it’s just a trail. Maybe you’d like to go hiking, or camping. Those are all things you can do as a blind person that maybe you haven’t explored yet.

The key to self-determination is wanting to do things. Whatever you end up doing will probably benefit you — and if you can make it happen, benefit other people too. Once you benefit other people, I’d say you’ve met the challenge that’s set on everybody in society. Every job you apply for is going to help someone in some way — that’s how jobs work. And as an adult you’ll want a stable life you can live and do things with. So make the most of it. If you’re a kid, set yourself up for success as best you can, and ask for help when you need it. There are plenty of people who’ve been through experiences like yours — or very different ones — and either way, they can probably help you with what you want to do as a blind adult. And if you’re a blind adult right now and you think you could do more: try it. There’s nothing like the present time to learn something.

If you can get good instruction, that’s a great thing. In fact, try looking for people in your area who are blind. We usually treat sighted people as the most appropriate people to teach blind people how to be blind — why don’t we change that? Sighted teachers just can’t experience being blind for long enough to fully know how to navigate it. Some come close: most teachers of the visually impaired, and orientation and mobility specialists, have gone through blindfold training so they can experience it for themselves. It’s not the same as the real thing, but it’s close enough that they can help you. Still — look for blind people who have been blind and been successful, so that you can be successful as a blind person too. Experience helps. And the best thing you can do is make sure other people can learn from you in the future.

[A family member walking along suggests Nathan talk about his own experiences. They turn back along the trail.]

For example — take what I’ve been doing. I’ve been walking around this place by myself. I know my neighborhood fairly well; I haven’t memorized the whole thing, but I can figure it out if I have to. I got interested in music at a young age. I didn’t immediately take off with it, but as I grew and started to explore more, I began to learn more and actually get good at it. I’ve still got a ways to go — but I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. And that came from exploring something for a long time and trying it by myself. That’s something you can do for yourself: find something, and see how you can use it to do better.

I’ve done a little biking, and skateboarding. I play in my high school wind ensemble and marching band. I’ve done sports — wrestling. Even when I wasn’t the best at something, it was still good experience all around. And probably the most important thing I got from it is that I now have very good friends — friends who’ve been in bands with me, some in marching band, and we hang out at school and outside of school. I only developed that recently. I wasn’t always able to have friends of my own, because I just wasn’t ready for it.

One of the biggest problems I see with blind students is that they often don’t have many friends. That’s partly society not knowing how to treat blind people — but it’s also blind people not explaining themselves, and how we want to be treated. People don’t necessarily know what to do when they meet a blind person, because they don’t know how you’ll respond. The way I got around it was by talking to people I sort of knew, casually, and then talking more over time. That worked: I ended up with a group of friends I’ve been close to for years now. You should try that for yourself. There’s probably a lot out there that your friends can point out to you that you didn’t notice.

It’s true what they say — iron sharpens iron; a friend sharpens a friend. As a blind person you really want friends you can trust and rely on, because they can help you with things you didn’t know, things you need to work on, or things other people wouldn’t tell you. The reason I keep improving as a musician is that my friends are better musicians than I am — I can ask them for help and ideas, and we get better together. Same in wrestling: I wasn’t the best wrestler, but I hung out with the team, and a bunch of us were band kids in wrestling — we had that connection, and we were friends. Once you build up those skills — friends, and the ability to navigate the world — you become a resource: you can start to teach other blind people what they can do better. Be respectful about it; everyone’s situation is different. But there’s a lot of help to be found just by talking with people who’ve found success as blind people.

One more example. I took a skateboarding lesson from the only professional blind skateboarder I know of. Besides learning everything I was doing wrong on the board, I got to ask him how he became successful as a blind skateboarder — how he does things on a skateboard I didn’t even know were possible. He’d also been a musician, so we could just talk, and help each other out. That’s the thing about friends and mentors: you help each other. Too often I see blind people going for something without knowing what to do with it, because nobody ever told them how it could be done.

And then — we have the internet. You’re listening to this right now. If you reach out to people, they can talk to you and help you. The internet is a great resource. Use it. You live in an age where you can listen to a guy walking around somewhere and learn from it.

Maybe you don’t feel like starting right away. I’m telling you: the sooner you start, the better off you’ll be. The more time you put into an instrument, the better you’ll play. The longer you’re on a team, the better you get, and the more people want you there and value what you contribute — and knowing that people want you there is one of the best feelings I’ve had doing anything. So: if you haven’t gotten to a point where you feel settled, try new things, and try to get better at them. If you’re already doing something, get better at it, or explore the things related to it. Be the best that you can be. That’s the biggest piece of advice I want you to take away.

[End of the walk. Recording stops.]